I thought to get us all blogging, it would help to introduce a topic that we can all comment on
The question: What are you doing as a couple to spread the word about your desire to adopt?
Here is what we have done as a family:
1. We mention our desire to adopt in our family Christmas letter and have just told everyone we know that we want to adopt.
2. We have an adoption blog
3. We have given our close friends from across the country adoption packets including several birth mother letters and copies of our photo pages.
4. We have spread the word using face book.
5. When I send an email my signature says "just waiting for our baby" then gives the link for our blog.
6. Our Bishop gave our birth mother letter to our Stake President and all the Bishops in our stake.
6. We found a second agency that would allow acceptLDSFS' home study and required no upfront costs, most importantly we felt right about them from our initial phone call and especially after we prayed about it.
As you comment please leave a link to any adoption blogs or adoption websites you have if you would like me to post them on this sight.
Thanks so much,
Kim Jones
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
An Adoption Story
Walking out of the court room the day David's
adoption was finalized.
We fell in love and married, expecting that within a few months we would be pregnant and on with what we pictured our life would be. When it didn’t happen and, in fact, years passed without children, we began to wonder what the Lord had in mind. How could this be? We were faithful members of the church and loved each other deeply. We would be good parents. Why, oh why, wouldn’t our Father in Heaven bless us with children?
Then, one day a friend mentioned the idea of adoption. After a flurry of emotions that overwhelmed us – anger, terror, disappointment, frustration, feeling powerless, feeling inadequate and less than, confusion – we began to pray and ponder the possibility. And we called LDS Family Services. As we sat in the orientation meeting and the first speaker said how it may feel to couples like they were heading on a joyful trip to Italy and instead landed in Holland, we sure knew exactly what he meant. We didn’t know the language and customs of adoption, and while “Holland” was, we were sure, a fine place to be, we had packed and were planning on “Italy”. We really wanted to be in “Italy”.
A year after that November meeting, after getting up the courage to apply and having waded through massive amounts of paperwork that our caseworker declared at the outset would feel like way too much and unfair to have to do, we were approved for adoption. And then, said our dear caseworker, came the hardest part: Being ready to bring a baby into our home at any second, but going on with our lives. For a year and a half, the cradle sat in the corner of our bedroom next to the rocking chair and diapers sat on the closet shelf next to stack of baby clothes (mostly yellow and mint green, so they would work for either a boy or a girl).
Over time, we became more and more willing to let go and do whatever we felt prompted by the Lord to do. At one point that meant hosting a five-day-old baby and his adoptive parents because we were foster-care certified for California and they were from out of state. It was so painful to see them with their baby and want ours, but it was also joyful to be that instrument for the Lord. Another time it meant being willing to send an e-mail out to EVERYONE we knew asking that they keep an eye out for a pregnant woman who might be considering placing for adoption (instead of the dozen we felt comfortable opening up to that way) and tell her about us. And, it meant taking classes in our county to become certified as foster parents.
We had two classes left when one Tuesday afternoon in May at 3 p.m. we got a call that changed our lives forever. A young birth mother who had tried so hard to keep her baby for a few weeks, knew now she couldn’t and wanted an LDS couple who couldn’t have children to have him…a little boy just a few weeks old. Within ten days we held our little David in our arms and were meeting the birth family. The Spirit was so strong as they said they knew we were his parents. Within six months the adoption was final and a few weeks later we were sealed in the Sacramento Temple as an eternal family.
As we look back at the process of our amazing little baby David coming into our home, we see the perfection in timing and path – but we sure didn’t along the way. He is our child, and this is precisely the time and way he was meant to come. Some of the actions we took didn’t have a direct effect, such as sending out that vast e-mailing, but others did. We see that we were prompted to take the foster training classes, because the knowledge and familiarity of the legal system and foster care world, as well as a certain comfort level with it, helped us create a better welcome for our son since he came through both foster care and LDS Family Services.
We don’t know all of why things happened the way they did, but we sure do know three important things we learned along the way.
1. Surrender completely to Heavenly Father’s way of bringing your child to you and take each action you feel inspired to (even if it makes no sense and requires you to leap way beyond your comfort zone).
2. Don’t feel pressure to do what you don’t feel inspired to do (even if everybody else is marketing themselves perfectly and you are sure if you don’t do it just like them you will never get your baby.
3. Never ever give up faith in the perfection of the way and time the Lord will bring about your miracle. We are the living breathing example of these simple truths.
Then, one day a friend mentioned the idea of adoption. After a flurry of emotions that overwhelmed us – anger, terror, disappointment, frustration, feeling powerless, feeling inadequate and less than, confusion – we began to pray and ponder the possibility. And we called LDS Family Services. As we sat in the orientation meeting and the first speaker said how it may feel to couples like they were heading on a joyful trip to Italy and instead landed in Holland, we sure knew exactly what he meant. We didn’t know the language and customs of adoption, and while “Holland” was, we were sure, a fine place to be, we had packed and were planning on “Italy”. We really wanted to be in “Italy”.
A year after that November meeting, after getting up the courage to apply and having waded through massive amounts of paperwork that our caseworker declared at the outset would feel like way too much and unfair to have to do, we were approved for adoption. And then, said our dear caseworker, came the hardest part: Being ready to bring a baby into our home at any second, but going on with our lives. For a year and a half, the cradle sat in the corner of our bedroom next to the rocking chair and diapers sat on the closet shelf next to stack of baby clothes (mostly yellow and mint green, so they would work for either a boy or a girl).
Over time, we became more and more willing to let go and do whatever we felt prompted by the Lord to do. At one point that meant hosting a five-day-old baby and his adoptive parents because we were foster-care certified for California and they were from out of state. It was so painful to see them with their baby and want ours, but it was also joyful to be that instrument for the Lord. Another time it meant being willing to send an e-mail out to EVERYONE we knew asking that they keep an eye out for a pregnant woman who might be considering placing for adoption (instead of the dozen we felt comfortable opening up to that way) and tell her about us. And, it meant taking classes in our county to become certified as foster parents.
We had two classes left when one Tuesday afternoon in May at 3 p.m. we got a call that changed our lives forever. A young birth mother who had tried so hard to keep her baby for a few weeks, knew now she couldn’t and wanted an LDS couple who couldn’t have children to have him…a little boy just a few weeks old. Within ten days we held our little David in our arms and were meeting the birth family. The Spirit was so strong as they said they knew we were his parents. Within six months the adoption was final and a few weeks later we were sealed in the Sacramento Temple as an eternal family.
As we look back at the process of our amazing little baby David coming into our home, we see the perfection in timing and path – but we sure didn’t along the way. He is our child, and this is precisely the time and way he was meant to come. Some of the actions we took didn’t have a direct effect, such as sending out that vast e-mailing, but others did. We see that we were prompted to take the foster training classes, because the knowledge and familiarity of the legal system and foster care world, as well as a certain comfort level with it, helped us create a better welcome for our son since he came through both foster care and LDS Family Services.
We don’t know all of why things happened the way they did, but we sure do know three important things we learned along the way.
1. Surrender completely to Heavenly Father’s way of bringing your child to you and take each action you feel inspired to (even if it makes no sense and requires you to leap way beyond your comfort zone).
2. Don’t feel pressure to do what you don’t feel inspired to do (even if everybody else is marketing themselves perfectly and you are sure if you don’t do it just like them you will never get your baby.
3. Never ever give up faith in the perfection of the way and time the Lord will bring about your miracle. We are the living breathing example of these simple truths.
With love and hope,
Ian, Heidi and David
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Gift of Adoption--Ensign Article
In the February 2009 Ensign magazine there is a very touching collection of articles about adoption. The articles share, in a very personal way, what the experience of placing a child in an adoptive home was like for a birth mother, a birth father, and a birth grand father. The last article is written by an adult adoptee. In the article these birth parents describe the depth of their love for their unborn children and how extremely difficult and yet rewarding the experience was for each of them. The birth father shares how much he admired the birth mother and her ability to go through this difficult ordeal. The grandfather talks about what an incredibly spiritual experience it was for his family to support their daughter as she placed her baby with a loving family. The adoptee talks about how her parents always shared her adoption story with her. She always knew she was adopted and she always knew she was loved.
As adoptive families and hopeful adoptive families these stories provide very valuable insights into adoption. Hopefully, these articles will also touch other members in the church who may at some point be in a position to be supportive of a potential birth family.
Here is a link to the Ensign article:
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=45169d9ff732f110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1
After you have read the article please also send an e-mail to encourage the Ensign writers to continue to promote adoption!
merrillme@ldschurch.org
As adoptive families and hopeful adoptive families these stories provide very valuable insights into adoption. Hopefully, these articles will also touch other members in the church who may at some point be in a position to be supportive of a potential birth family.
Here is a link to the Ensign article:
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=45169d9ff732f110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1
After you have read the article please also send an e-mail to encourage the Ensign writers to continue to promote adoption!
merrillme@ldschurch.org
Monday, February 16, 2009
New Profile Site
LDS Family Services has improved it's adoption website. Couples can now post many more pictures and a lot more information. The applications are very user friendly. There are more resources available to birth families as well as adoptive couples. The site allows birth families to register on the site, this will make it possible for Family Services to contact theses families as needed and it will help keep track of potential birth families. The site is awaiting final approval for the church. In the meantime, you can check it out at beta.itsaboutlove.org. Contact your case worker for information on how to register on the new site.
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